Peave, Love, and Death #2
I’d tried my best to keep out of Herman’s business since he
dropped the bomb he as working for Balthazar the wizard. In fact, I’d been so
strung out, that I didn’t even know what day of the week it was! Unfortunately,
that all came crashing down when Herman stumbled into the apartment, bloody and
with a set of donkey ears where his regular human one’s should’ve been.
I sat up and focused really hard, making sure I wasn’t high
first. “Shit Herman, what the hell happened to you?”
“Well, you see…”
And he went into this long drawn out story about how he
messed up a delivery he was supposed to make. The box he’d been assigned to
drop off to an Imp apparently had been misplaced. By misplaced, he meant he
lost it when he was trying to buy marijuana. Oh Herman…
As he finished the story, all I could do was sigh. “Do you
even know what was in the box?” It took everything I had not to laugh at those
stupid ears.
“No idea, Graham-ster. I just know when Balthazar found out,
he gave me these unchill listening devices.”
Honestly, Balthazar could’ve done a lot worse. It also was
kinda funny that Herman had no idea that this shit was weird and he probably
shouldn’t be sharing it with anyone. Either Herman was high as a kite
(probably) or just was so relaxed that he didn’t even consider this as an
oddity (very likely).
I as in a position to help. Not get in too deep mind you,
but I could at least help him get the box back and get rid of these ears. “Do
you want me to help you go look for the box?” I asked.
High tried to give me a high five, but my hand wasn’t up. “Dude,
Graham, that would be killer.” For a guy who had cursed ass ears, he wasn’t
even the slightest bit upset.
I grabbed my coat and the two of us went down to where the
drug deal took place. It was a dingy little bar called the Seventh Circle. I
half expected the place to reek of Brimstone, but it turned out totally human.
The surprises just kept on coming.
Inside, we strolled up to the bar. The guy slinging shots
looked at me a bit funny. “Whaddaya want?”
Herman had told me the key phrase to ask when I got to this
point. I felt like a fool for having to say it, though. “The mouse needs some
cheese.”
The bartender winked and pointed off to the side where there
was a small black door. “Just knock twice and be patient,” was his only words
of wisdom.
So I did. And patient I was. What seemed like an eternity,
the door opened and a hand grabbed me. Being dragged into the dark, I was
totally taken aback when I could see what was going on. “Death, what the hell
are you doing here?”
I knew that voice! “Azrael? Is that really you?”
The light shined down and the salty old angel was standing
over me. “Shit, you being here complicates things.”
Considering I didn’t know what things were, I wasn’t sure
what to say. “Listen, I’m just trying to find a box for a friend?”
“Herman?”
“Yeah – wait, how did you know?”
Azrael pulled out a box from the shelf behind him. “This is
the box that stoner was carrying. Death, it contains a map showing the location
of all four seals.”
“When you say seals, you mean –”
“Yep, the seals that would start the End of Days.”
Damnit all, I wasn’t high enough to deal with another Armageddon…
