Peave, Love, and Death #2
I’d tried my best to keep out of Herman’s business since he dropped the bomb he as working for Balthazar the wizard. In fact, I’d been so strung out, that I didn’t even know what day of the week it was! Unfortunately, that all came crashing down when Herman stumbled into the apartment, bloody and with a set of donkey ears where his regular human one’s should’ve been.
I sat up and focused really hard, making sure I wasn’t high first. “Shit Herman, what the hell happened to you?”
“Well, you see…”
And he went into this long drawn out story about how he messed up a delivery he was supposed to make. The box he’d been assigned to drop off to an Imp apparently had been misplaced. By misplaced, he meant he lost it when he was trying to buy marijuana. Oh Herman…
As he finished the story, all I could do was sigh. “Do you even know what was in the box?” It took everything I had not to laugh at those stupid ears.
“No idea, Graham-ster. I just know when Balthazar found out, he gave me these unchill listening devices.”
Honestly, Balthazar could’ve done a lot worse. It also was kinda funny that Herman had no idea that this shit was weird and he probably shouldn’t be sharing it with anyone. Either Herman was high as a kite (probably) or just was so relaxed that he didn’t even consider this as an oddity (very likely).
I as in a position to help. Not get in too deep mind you, but I could at least help him get the box back and get rid of these ears. “Do you want me to help you go look for the box?” I asked.
High tried to give me a high five, but my hand wasn’t up. “Dude, Graham, that would be killer.” For a guy who had cursed ass ears, he wasn’t even the slightest bit upset.
I grabbed my coat and the two of us went down to where the drug deal took place. It was a dingy little bar called the Seventh Circle. I half expected the place to reek of Brimstone, but it turned out totally human. The surprises just kept on coming.
Inside, we strolled up to the bar. The guy slinging shots looked at me a bit funny. “Whaddaya want?”
Herman had told me the key phrase to ask when I got to this point. I felt like a fool for having to say it, though. “The mouse needs some cheese.”
The bartender winked and pointed off to the side where there was a small black door. “Just knock twice and be patient,” was his only words of wisdom.
So I did. And patient I was. What seemed like an eternity, the door opened and a hand grabbed me. Being dragged into the dark, I was totally taken aback when I could see what was going on. “Death, what the hell are you doing here?”
I knew that voice! “Azrael? Is that really you?”
The light shined down and the salty old angel was standing over me. “Shit, you being here complicates things.”
Considering I didn’t know what things were, I wasn’t sure what to say. “Listen, I’m just trying to find a box for a friend?”
“Yeah – wait, how did you know?”
Azrael pulled out a box from the shelf behind him. “This is the box that stoner was carrying. Death, it contains a map showing the location of all four seals.”
“When you say seals, you mean –”
“Yep, the seals that would start the End of Days.”
Damnit all, I wasn’t high enough to deal with another Armageddon…