Chapter 1 – Driving Lessons
“Damnit Oz! Pay attention to the road!”
My kid just looked at me like I was
toilet slime. “Dude, I got this.” Then he addressed the car. “You won’t let me die, will ya Khloros?”
My horse’s voice came through the
stereo system in the car. “Of course not
Master Oz. As for your imbecile of a
father, I should have years ago.”
I should probably back up here and
answer a few questions. Last time we
spoke, Oz here was just a wee little guy who had just lost his mom and I ran
away with. Now the little asshole’s
sixteen and is getting ready to get his driver’s license. God bless the examiner the Pennsylvania
Department of Transportation gives him.
Yep, we’re back in south Philly
too, at the old detective agency Roxanna and I started. We had hopped around the globe a bit before
settling down back here two years ago.
Roxanne said it would be good for Oz to have some stability in his
already unusual life.
The poor kid was the son of the
Horseman Death and a Lust demon. And yes,
I told him what happened to his real mom, Jecella. I thought he was going to be pissed at me
about it, but he took it in stride.
Turns out he’s one tough kid, which is good because of the life he’s
going to have.
What really helped is when he said
he thought of Roxanne as his mom. Not
having any children of her own, I’m pretty sure she cried for two straight
hours.
The past sixteen years have taken
their toll on me though. For the first
time in my very long life, I feel old.
The running and hiding from the inevitable has done a number on Derrick
Grimm. It’s hard to sleep at night and
it’s even harder to trust the world. I
haven’t seen any of my brothers since that fateful night years ago and contact
from Upstairs has been minimal. Only
Rachel, the angel, checks in on us.
What scares me is that Sabrina, the
Hell witch spawn of Roxanne and Beelzebub (don’t ask – celestial family
reunions are a total clusterfuck) is still out there. Plus she has my other son, Jacoby. I tried so hard to find him, but they’re like
ghosts in the wind. Whatever small leads
I find here or there just lead to dead ends.
Plus, I didn’t know just how strong Sabrina’s gotten. She might be on par with Lucifer for all I
knew.
The car swerved again, breaking me
out of my thoughts. “Whoa! What the hell are you doing Oz?”
“Sorry, I got a text from this hot
chick at school.”
I looked on at him
incredulously. “You can’t text and drive
you dumb fuck! Sweet mercy, do you have
shit for brains?”
He just rolled his eyes at my outburst. “You’re one to talk. Whenever mom texts you, you take it.” Then with added zing, “Hypocrite.”
“I’m an adult! If I want to risk my life, I will!”
“To be fair Grimm,” great the horse
had to chime in, “you are both immortals.
A car accident would only really mess me up, neither of you.”
Yep, Oz was gifted with my special
‘talent’ of immortality. I mean he was
half a Horseman and half a Lust demon, it only made sense. “See Oz, you should think of your Uncle Khloros
before you go texting said girl next time.”
He dropped the phone in the cup
holder and hit the gas, sending me head back into the headrest with vigor. Let me tell you, I was so happy when he
pulled up front of our little slice of heaven in the city so I could get
out. I practically ran from the car and
kissed the ground. “I can’t believe
Roxanne talked me into this shit.”
Oz tossed me the keys as he walked
by towards the door. “Don’t be so
melodramatic.”
I put them in my pocket and
followed him in. We were greeted by our
former Lust demon and angel, Roxanne.
She’d taken well to life back in the city and was dressing the part
too. When I asked her why she always
dressed like she was going to the club, her response was, “To feel good, you
must look good. Something you
desperately need to do.”
She gave Oz a big hug and kiss
before sending him on his way. Once he
ran upstairs to his little apartment above us, “So, how did he do?”
“He’s a terrible driver! I don’t even know where he picked up half of
those habits!”
Her black heel tapped the
ground. “I know exactly where he picked
them up – you.” The way she said it with
that impish grin was actually quite cute.
“Whether you like it or not, you’re his father and his role model. You could do a better job at both if we’re
being honest.”
“Always with the honesty huh?”
“That is why you still love me
after all these years.”
It wasn’t the love story you’d hear
about in one of those sappy movies women love, but Roxanne and I made it
work. Even after a few (hey, I’m being
nice to myself here) transgressions and all, fate brought us back
together. “Be that as it may, sometimes
a nice white lie would be cool.”
“And a diamond tennis bracelet
would also be cool, but alas we don’t always get what we want.”
Loud stomping shook the house. Oz was on his way back down. “Yo, parental units, can I go over to Jesse’s
house to hang out for a bit?”
It was a Saturday afternoon and
what kid wanted to be stuck in the house with his supernatural parents? “Yeah, just don’t be out late okay?” He gave me a salute and ran out the
door.
Roxanne was looking at me like I
had three heads. “You sound like such an
old man.”
Having looked in the mirror before
I took Oz out for his lesson, I knew I still looked like an awesome early
twenties guy. “The only thing old on me
is my soul baby.”
Just as I was getting ready to
seduce this hot little piece of ass, my phone rang. No one really calls me, they know the best
way to get in touch with me is through Roxanne.
I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it said unknown caller. Roxanne and I shared an odd look before I
answered. “Hello?”
“Derrick Grimm, your life is
forfeit.”
The speaker, who was trying to
sound intimidating, failed as soon as his voice cracked. “Is this some sort of prank?”
I heard a harsh cough, as if to try
this again. “This is a deadly serious matter;
you won’t live to see another of your son’s birthdays.” The guy’s voice on the other end squeaked
again on the word birthdays.
I couldn’t help it, I just started
laughing. “If this is one of Oz’s friends,
you’re doing a piss poor job of scaring me.
You should try this again when you’re not going through puberty.”
Roxanne was smiling and mouthed,
“I’m going to the bedroom. Be naked when
you finish.”
With that to look forward to, my
attention went back to the phone call.
Muffled voices seemed to be arguing on the other end. I waited patiently as this was becoming a fun
game. When the voice returned, it was
trying so hard to sound deep and manly.
“You don’t know the forces you’re mocking! I’ve been to the depths of Tartarus and
back!”
My smile faded. None of Oz’s friends knew about our family
secrets and wouldn’t have known anything about Tartarus. “Who is this?”
A second voice, one that sounded
hauntingly familiar took control on the other end. “You will get the answers soon Horseman. In the meantime, take this as a courtesy and
prepare yourself for combat.”
I reached into my pocket and felt
Leviathan, my scythe. I hadn’t used it
in sixteen years. “Picking a fight with
Death isn’t the smartest thing the two of you buffoons could be doing.”
“Balrog, King of the Minotaurs,
does not fear you!” Then the phone cut
off.
I dropped it right where I was
standing. Roxanne must’ve heard and
walked back into the main room in nothing more than her silk robe. Her breasts were practically hanging out,
begging to be fondled, but now wasn’t the time.
“My dear, what’s wrong?”
Focusing from the phone lying on
the ground to the half-naked woman standing in front of me, “I think that was
Jacoby.” I still couldn’t believe it,
was that really my son? “What have they
done to him?”
She gasped and ran forward, holding
on to me. “How can you be so sure?”
“Balrog was with him, the Minotaur
King.” Her mouth dropped open, just as
shocked as I was. “This can only mean one
thing.”
Her voice filled with venom and
hatred, “Yeah, that my bitch of a daughter has come to die.”
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